This year I’m starting the new year with sort of a guilty conscience. You see, the problem with reading other blogs and making comparisons is that, for me, I end up measuring where I might have fallen short throughout the last 12 months. Some things, sure, I wasn’t able to do for reasons beyond my control. But some of the things that I know I could have done…. I just didn’t do. And absolutely none of it has anything to do with blogging.
Instead, I know I didn’t do my best to be a better sister, daughter, mother and friend. Much of my time in 2013 was spent internalizing things that I was going through at the moment, and I was too busy trying to “fix” myself that I lost sight of the world around me. Hence the guilty conscience.
I have a few friends who have been around me for quite some time, as well as some relatively new friends who I met this past year. All of them I cherish the same. So being that they all mean so much to me, it should be easier for me to communicate with them all the same. I mean, not that I would go around sharing all of my intimacies and fears with everyone, but sometimes it’s nice to just pick up the phone and say “hey.” Conversations have a way of taking their course after that. For some reason though, I just held myself back this year from picking up the phone.
With family, my sisters and brother, unfortunately, didn’t get a better me in 2013 either. I didn’t stop to listen. I was too busy trying to talk back and believing I had all the answers, even when my opinions weren’t solicited. Sometimes just listening makes all the difference.
I also thought I had patience down for sure… until I did a reality check that is. I know I am doing what’s known as “my best,” but in all honesty, I could use more patience with my mom and Edgar in 2014.
So for this new year I’ve decided to take on the commitment of communicating. Communicating to others how I feel and what I think. Stopping myself from overanalyzing and internalizing everything. And most importantly, to just be me. I mean, not that I take on a different persona or anything. The person you see and who you talk to in real life and online is the real me, only a very reserved version of me. I do this sometimes in fear (there goes that word again) of judgement or opinions that could be formed about me. So I tend to share absolutely or next to nothing about me to be safe.
I hope to change that this year and I hope you enjoy my crazy pictures and unordinary antics along the way!
Here is to an unforgettable 2013 and to an incredible 2014! Cheers!! I don’t drink so I will raise my water glass.
Feliz año friends!
