Juan of Words

Marriage is hard

I mean, correction, marriage is effing hard. And don’t let anyone tell you different. It really does seem at any stage, at any age, marriage is as fragile, fickle thing that can be tested at almost every turn. In truth, we honestly don’t mean for that to come across as negative as it does. However, the reality is that marriage is actually quite a lot of hard work.

Sure, the romanticized depictions Hollywood portrays aren’t 100% false. We all strive to achieve some of that in our marriages, but the notion that one day you just say “I do” and then you run off and live happily ever after isn’t quite as true. And going into marriage with that notion is already a recipe for disaster.

When we’re just dating or getting to know each other, putting our best foot forward is just a matter of common sense. We don’t we want the other person to be turned away or to question their relationship with us, especially if we perceive ourselves wanting something longer term with them. Once we do tie the knot, come back from the honeymoon (if we even have one), that’s when ish really gets real. It’s then that we finally let our guard down and are just ourselves, whatever that may look like. And sure, little quirks here and there are going to be annoying, they’re going to require some getting used to, and why not, even some compromise. Then comes the real stuff.

The first time you hit a major roadblock. When coming to terms with a major issue is not just a matter of compromise.

That’s when marriage rally gets hard.

And, full disclosure, our marriage isn’t perfect. No marriage is perfect. Tonight, for some reason though, a recent conversation with another married couple about the challenges they’re facing in their own marriage, got us inspired to write this post. And I guess the point is just that. No marriage is perfect. There are going to be bumps along the road. Sometimes you’re going to question your spouse, yourself, and your entire union. It’s in those moments that your love for one another is really tested.

And the question to ask ourselves then is “what was it about this person that made me want to unite my life to theirs in the first place?”

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