Con mi burrito sabanero voy camino de Belen. Si me ven, si me ven, voy camino de Belen.
That or any other quintessential holiday song is what comes to mind when thinking about the holiday season and all the traditional festivities we are all supposed to partake in magically no matter what is really going on in our lives. That’s the thing about this time of year. For some reason, so many of us seem to believe we are supposed to feel a certain way, act a certain way, and be overtaken by a certain spirit or feeling that if we are not we feel like something is wrong. If this year we happen to feel it, all is good in the world. If we don’t, that is when the self doubt and self criticism can creep up.
We believe that the joy of the season should supersede what we are facing. The challenges and hard things we may be encountering. That for a brief four-week period gifting others and putting smiles on young children’s faces will lift our spirits and make us forget what has been troubling us until then. I’m no expert on matters of psychology or self care, but as someone who’s embraced this way of thinking for a majority of my life, I can certainly attest to the fact that this belief system doesn’t always bear true.
There have been many years in the past 45 that have felt less than joyous. Christmases that didn’t feel like Christmas. Holidays that left me feeling disappointed in myself and others. Years where I felt ill-prepared and more grumpy than jolly. And, of course, every time this happened I blamed myself for not doing what I should have done to feel the way I was supposed to in that moment. It was anything but a merry or feliz navidad.
What I have come to believe today is that Christmas and this season in general is really what we make it. Whether it has been our year or not, it is up to decide how to celebrate. Whether we make it a huge family affair or a quiet evening at home enjoying a barbecue dinner followed by a holiday movie or two. Whether we go all out decorating, or we don’t decorate at all. Whether we buy gifts for everyone, or no gifts at all. None of that really makes the difference. What matters most is how we process what the season means to us and what we want to make of the holiday for ourselves and for those around us.
Making peace with that, in my humble opinion, is probably the most direct route to achieving some level of peace and joy in our hearts on any given holiday season.